you can’t shroud your conservative beliefs in “individualism” and “objectivism” forever. eventually, you will have to admit you are simply selfish and unrepentantly cruel.

in honor of international women’s day, i wrote a letter to the woman who has inspired me more than anyone else.

Dear Nana,

I’ve always been proud of you. I’ve always bragged on you to everyone. I go to a party and meet new people and in about three drinks/1 hour I’m telling the story about when you taught me how to use the correct tenses of the word “fuck,” how you slammed your hands on a table and shouted in the face of the woman who told you JFK was “Irish trash,” how you brought my aunt Rachel to one of the most violent racial protests of the 80s and stood up to the KKK and FBI without a moment’s hesitation, how you were run off the road by a North Georgia racist for reporting for the local paper about the murder of a black man by a family of white supremacists. I am so goddamned proud of you.

You taught me, when I was very young, to never stop learning, teaching, writing, reading, loving, and caring. How, if I know something is unjust, it’s up to me to stand against that injustice. You fought for marginalized peoples from five feet tall, from a basement apartment in Atlanta, from the seats of a pew in my grandfather’s 1960’s Birmingham church, from the beaches of Jekyll Island, from the front of a classroom.

You wrote the words for the businessmen of a textile company, words they could not articulate but that you could, words they were accepted to say but you were not. You read to boys in the Brunswick projects, taking them to get Happy Meals their mothers couldn’t afford and on bike rides no one else found time to take them on.

You took me to symphonies and plays, flew me around the world, kept a roof over my head and books in my backpack all so I could become a strong, independent, and powerful woman. You did so much for me to give me opportunities when you saw I had so little, but so much to give. Your first compliment to me was always “You’re so bright” because you made a point to make a priority of intelligence. You brought me to Washington DC in 2004 for the March for Women’s Lives, the first (but not last) time I ever saw Gloria Stienem speak, the first time I screamed “MY BODY MY CHOICE” at the top of my lungs with tears streaming down my face with pride over my womanhood and my family. You raised three amazing children, one of whom is my father, the first person who ever taught me about the word I’d been living my whole life- feminism. You taught me never to settle for the first person who came along, to never fear taking chances, to never take no for an answer, to surround myself with love in relationships and friendships, to dedicate myself to helping others, to believe in myself. Sometimes I forget these lessons, but not for long.

When your arms started hurting you too much to type or write, you didn’t stop, you exercised your muscles and became a master potter, traveling to China in search of knowledge about your craft and about your planet. You also taught me that struggling makes you strong, and that women combat struggle every day. So how fucking strong must we be, right?

I’ll never stop bragging about my brilliant, strong, beautiful, creative, driven grandmother. Thank you so much for everything. I will never stop fighting, because neither have you.

I love you,
Lauren

gross girl problems

just scratched my four day unwashed, baby powdered hair. then proceeded to dig the debris out of my fingernails with my teeth. then tasted how gross the debris tasted. didn’t think anything leading up to the flavor was gross at all.

i am a disgusting human

night terrors about someone coming to abduct me

nightmares about teaching again

dreams about my dad where i wake up crying

poor louis

started writing haikus, like a dummy

1

i will live here now

inside your body where the

floods will swallow me

2

when you are naked

i cannot understand your

insecurities

3

it must have been spring

in new york city when the

whole world fell in love